Six Books That Help Parents Build a Vibrant Family Culture
I envision family culture as a sourdough starter. It bubbles up in a jar, and as you feed it and keep it healthy, you create more and more sustenance with it. The starter flavors everything else you make.
It's the same with our family culture. We combine a few key ingredients that symbiotically work together to make something with life-giving potency. When that culture is fed and kept healthy, the effects in the family are lovely.
Of course, when the starter is starved or ignored, it gradually dies so that it cannot be used to create anything.
The good news is that sourdough starters and family culture can be reawakened and invigorated with fresh life. They both need regular feeding.
One way we feed our family culture is by staying inspired. Below are several books that have shaped (and continue to shape) my family's culture, which is to say our way of being.
Books for Defining Family Values
Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make by Paul David Tripp | Best for Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage
Fundamental to the family is the marriage. A husband and wife need to understand their God-given roles within marriage, and the weeds which creep in to choke out the goodness of life together. Marriage was previously titled What Did You Expect? and I consider it a must-read for any couple. Tripp zeroes in on the fundamental question of whose kingdom are we building. If I'm living for myself, whether husband or wife, it's not going to be pretty. If I live for the Lord, that comes with certain commitments. But when we live God's way, we will experience his flourishing.
Homemaking by J. R. Miller | Best for Giving Inspiration for God's Design of the Family
In this old book published by The Vision Forum, Miller gives a thorough description of family life. Every page of this book is quotable. Written over many years ago, it speaks to the fundamental dynamics of family life and how each one—husband, wife, parent, child, brothers and sisters—ought to live in their God-given role. Look for a hardback copy!
Books on Creating Life-long Family Rhythms and Routines
For the Family's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay | Best for Creating Family Traditions and Rituals
I mentioned this book in my post about developing family traditons, but even more broadly For the Family's Sake speaks to developing a family culture of faith, love, and delight. In a writing style similar to her mother, Edith Schaeffer, Susan weaves together profound truth with real life examples and stories. She knows what it is like to live in a bustling family home, yet still calls us to a thoughtful way of life together!
Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne | Best for Intentional Parenting
This book is required reading for anyone wanting to parent intentionally and simply. Not written from a biblical perspective, Payne offers extremely practical advice for parents to understand what their children need. He gives a helpful framework for how to use simplicity as a tool for fostering that which supports our children's growth and protecting them from what stifles and even at times harms them.
Books for Inspiring Deep Family Connection
The Heart of the Family series by Elizabeth Goudge | Best for Encouraging You Through Difficulty
Oftentimes when it comes to the topics of marriage, family, and parenting, we think how-to books are best. While they have their place (as listed above), a story has the ability to grab you and instruct you in a deeper way. The Heart of the Family series by Goudge does exactly that. I especially think of the first book in the series, A Bird in the Tree. This story illustrates what it takes to preserve and protect our family even when circumstances are difficult. The novel gets right past your defenses and engages the heart to show the power of selfless love and fidelity.
Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry | Best for Cultivating Contentment in the Life You Have
Berry teaches us about the significance of the life we have even though it is small and hidden and unknown to the larger world. We learn from Hannah's experience as she reflects on her life and recalls the good, the bad, and the lessons learned. I'm so inspired by Hannah's ability to find and cultivate beauty in the everyday work of life.
Protect and Preserve Your Family Culture
Recounting these books reminds me how much I adore them! How each one has mentored me in its own way to help develop a vibrant, distinct family culture that marks us as in the world but not of it. This list is by no means comprehensive, but these are some of the books that gave us a strong foundation.
The values and patterns of your home form the fabric of your family's life. It is not something to push aside or forget. Rather we must protect and preserve the values of the family. The significance of a family life where we love one another sacrificially on a daily basis. The stability of a home where we can move forward in strength. The comfort of a place that gives a sense of what it is to have a refuge. Truly it will not be effort wasted.
